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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The man who would (attempt to) be king

Courtesy of Drudge Report Kerry can only watch as Reid and Schumer storm the Senate...

Bos'un's story: 'The man who would (attempt to) be king':

Once upon a time in a far off land called Washingtonistan DC, a young adventurer just back from war in Southeast Asia decided to cash in on his heroic deeds and spin a tale called Winter Solder.

That young adventurer, a decorated war hero Lieutenant in the Naval Reserve (Inactive), explained to congressional investigators that “We who have come here to Washington have come here because we feel we have to be winter soldiers now. We could come back to this country; we could be quiet; we could hold our silence; we could not tell what went on in Vietnam, but we feel because of what threatens this country, the fact that the crimes threaten it, not reds, and not redcoats but the crimes which we are committing that threaten it, that we have to speak out.”

The young adventurer told tall stories of other service members who “raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.” (Winter Soldier)

The young adventurer teamed up with a Senator from Massachusetts, who had a problem driving across bridges with girls and bringing them back alive, and announced that he was off to Capitalistan, the high halls of the Congressional mountains to set himself up as king.

It took over 20 years or so for him to climb almost to the Pinnacle peak of kingship. In the year of our lord, 2004, the young adventurer teamed up with a young questionable science litigation attorney to attempt become king and kingette. We are not sure who would assume the missionary position, the king or kingette.

But, unfortunately the man who would attempt to be king and his kingette were beaten back by a Texas cowboy who walloped the two young kingship wanna be adventurers’ buttocks and left acute ringing in their ears.

Then, thirty four years after winter soldier, on a cold fall evening, our now (not so young) adventurer stumbled into the halls of congress with a sever case of “foot in mouth” disease. Success just out of his grasps, that once dashing young adventurer appeared as a broken man: a crippled politician in an empty pinstripe suit.

John “F” “French Looking” Kerré stood pitifully in the background, watching an incoming U.S. Senate Majority leader Harry Reidandrite walk alongside new prestigious party colleagues through the halls of Capitalistan in positions of victorious honor.

It seems that that once dashing young adventurer presidential wanna be, swiftboated himself. The man who would (attempt to) be king.

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